Food Spoilage Test

Finally, a way to know what to throw-out and what to save!

 

EGGS: When something starts pecking its way out of the shell, the

egg is probably past its prime.

 

MAYONNAISE: If it makes you violently ill after you eat it, the

mayonnaise is spoiled.

 

FROZEN FOODS: Frozen foods that have become an integral part

of the defrosting problem in your freezer compartment will

probably be spoiled -- (or wrecked anyway) by the time you pry

them out with a kitchen knife.

 

EXPIRATION DATES: This is NOT a marketing ploy to

encourage you to throw away perfectly good food so that you'll

spend more on groceries. Perhaps you'd benefit by having a

calendar in your kitchen.

 

MEAT: If opening the refrigerator door causes stray animals from a

three-block radius to congregate outside your house, the meat is

spoiled.

 

BREAD: Sesame seeds and Poppy seeds are the only officially

acceptable "spots" that should be seen on the surface of any loaf of

bread. Fuzzy and hairy looking white or green growth areas are a

good indication your bread has turned into a pharmaceutical

laboratory experiment.

 

FLOUR: Flour is spoiled when it wiggles.

 

SALT: It never spoils.

 

LETTUCE: Iceberg lettuce is spoiled when you can't get it off the

bottom of the vegetable crisper without Comet. Romaine lettuce is

spoiled when it turns liquid.

 

CANNED GOODS: Any canned goods that have become the size

or shape of a softball should be disposed of. Carefully. Very, very

carefully!

 

RAISINS: Raisins should not be harder than your teeth.

 

POTATOES: Fresh potatoes do not have roots, branches, or

dense, leafy undergrowth.

 

CHIP DIP: If you can take it out of its container and bounce it on

the floor, it has gone bad.

 

EMPTY CONTAINERS: Putting empty containers back into the

refrigerator is an old trick, but it only works if you live with

someone or have a maid.

 

UNMARKED ITEMS: You know it's well beyond prime when

you're tempted to discard the Tupperware along with the food.

Generally speaking, Tupperware containers should not burp when

you open them.

 

GENERAL RULE OF THUMB: Most food cannot be kept longer

than the average life span of a goldfish. Keep a goldfish nearby

your refrigerator to gauge this.