There once was this man who loved baked beans, but there was also a woman he loved. He knew she wouldn't love him if he ate beans (because of the gas it gave him). So he gave up eating them.

On his birthday he was driving home and his car broke down. So he went to the closest place with a telephone, which happened to be a restaraunt. That night's special was baked beans. He called his wife and told her he would be late getting home because he had to walk. Before he left the restaurant, he decided he would eat some beans. He ended up eating 3 huge plates of baked beans. The whole time he was walking home he was farting.

When he got home his wife blindfolded him and told him she had a surprise for him. she sat him down in a chair and was about to take off the blindfold when the phone rang. She went to answer the phone and the man had the urge to fart, so he did. It smelled horrible, and it stunk up the entire room. So the man was trying to get the smell out of the room.

He heard his wife coming and he hoped she couldn't smell anything. She came in the room and undid the man's blindfold. What he saw absolutely horrified him. The room where he was sitting was full of his friends and family. They were all there to give him a surprise party!